Defined - accountability

In no way was my poem yesterday meant to be a victim poem, more of a mirror to look at as I progress on the evolution I seek.  I do believe I am an empowered woman, I am not feeling weak or lost like I was a month or so ago.  I am realizing may things about myself, the lies I buy into, the hypocrascy I have embraced disguised in my dianic path.  I do believe that part of my mistrust has been a survival instinct to protect from repeating past decisions, however, I am guilty of steroeotyping men into a lump catagory that is just as unfair and unjust what I am working to combat as a woman.  I am asking questions in this blog, not to make myself a victim of my circumstance, but more to hold myself to a higher accountability than where I have held myself before.

And women, as a gender are just as guilty of stereotyping ourselves in the words we say, the looks we give, our own judgements of others actions.  How often have you heard of a sexual assault, or harrasment happening and the words are said, well if she wouldn't have dressed like that, if she wasn't such a flirt, if she wasn't such a lush.  We look at other women and deem them slut, whore, bitch because of things other people have said, a preconception because of underlying insecurities and jealousy.

It is said we make the examples for our children.  Wow, my oldest is now in 7th grade, and already girls in her class are being labeled as slut, easy, and whore.  Many of these girls I know and the label is far from the truth, yet sad because if one person says it, they all jump on.  I have had to have the discussion with my children, about being careful of labels, because unfortunately, who you hang around with, will label you for your whole high school years.  I know the stories of these girls, I know they are not what they are labeled, I know why people are labeling them, and I tying to protect my own daughters being labeled, yet trying to teach them not to label.  Yet I as I talk to them, I recall my own labeling of women in the past, of calling them a slut and whore, annd then remembered the feelings of being called those words myself.

I have heard myself answer my daughters when they question the behavior of the boys their age with comments like, " well, they are boys and boys are stupid,"  " men are dogs", "well that is a man for you."  How can I teach my chidren not to prejudge when I have already prejudge someone based on gender or perception.

I wrote in my poem, DEFINED, how I alllowed words to define me, but in reading that I have to ask, how am I defining my daughters?